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The following list are real, for SURE reasons why women have said they “Had to have a surgical birth”

  1. My doctor was going to be out of town and the baby would be too big by the time he came back, so he said it would be better to just schedule so I could have him at my birth.
  2. My mother and my doctor are old friends and they said it was a good idea.
  3. It was my birthday.
  4. My baby had it’s feet caught on my ribs so she could not get out.
  5. The nurse went in down there and her hand got caught in my vagina. She could not get it out of there and had to ride down the hall with me and they had to do surgery to get that damn nurse out of me!
  6. My cervix was too fat.
  7. The baby was missing for awhile and when they found it, it scared the doctor so, he said I better have surgery before she went missing again!
  8. My doctor said women who had small feet need surgical births.
  9. My blood pressure was so high that my doctor nearly had a heart attack!
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The following list compiles the top 10 worst things someone actually brought to a birth –  no joke, I was there and saw it all…

  1. Pot laced brownies
  2. Chickens (even if they are cute little chicks)
  3. 2 CASES of beer
  4. Your boyfriends new girl friend.
  5. Your boyfriends ex-girl friend and her two children under 3yo
  6. Kemchi
  7. 13 clove garlic chicken
  8. The urn with your grandmother’s ashes
  9. Your dog who is also giving birth
  10. Your blender for the placenta
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